No Future

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Isn't it funny that when you eat a real grape it tastes one way, then when you eat grape jelly or grape jam or grape juice it tastes nothing like the stuff we make wine from, but we still call that stuff 'grape' whatever (insert food here)? It all somehow ends up tasting like candy and not the fruit at all! Wow, just wow.

It's like eating the Lime from your Mexican lager, except not after you finish the drink, but before, so it doesn't actually have any drink on it, because that would be kind of gross to eat, wouldn't it?

There's so many berries out there, aren't there? And they all taste so good, especially when they're combined together, right? And they're all pretty red, those berries, but this is blue. How'd they do that? Man, something to think about.

It's like eating the perfect holiday clementine. You know, when the skin comes off easily, there's no seeds, the segments pull of perfectly, and the fruit is just as sweet as it is sour. It's like that, but in a gummy, oh sorry, we meant 'soft chew', wouldn't want to corrupt our youth!

Legend has it, Pink Lemonade was invented when a Chicago man accidentally dropped cinnamon candies into a batch of lemonade. You know what's weird about that story? What's that guy doing walking around with so many cinnamon candies? That's what we want to know. Anyway, this is 100% pink lemonade and 0% cinnamon candies, we swear.

You know when you go to the grocery store and you pick up a watermelon and you have no clue if its ripe or not? And then you start tapping on it and listening to the resonance and then you realize, 'I have no idea what I'm doing right now' ... well, never mind, we did that for you, these are always going to be ripe and juicy. You're welcome.

We've all hit rock bottom, so let's just eat cookie dough, shall we? But if we're going to eat cookie dough, we'd rather eat it with 10mg THC? You?

Are you ready for the Tonguepocalypse? If you thought our Original No Future gummies were sour, be warned, these No Future gummies are STUPIDLY SOUR! Brace yourself for Citrus Chaos: this Stupidly Sour No Future gummy has 10 mg THC and features the sourest side of lemons, limes, oranges, tangerines, and grapefruits. No Future Stupidly Sour gummies are not only sour on the outside, they're sour on the inside. So stupid.

Are you ready for the Tonguepocalypse? If you thought our Original No Future gummies were sour, be warned, these No Future gummies are STUPIDLY SOUR! Key Lime Cherry Revolt has 10mg THC and is an oral insurrection of punchy sweet and sour cherry blended with a riot of tropical lime. Our Stupidly Sour gummies are not only sour on the outside, they are sour on the inside. So stupid.

Is this a cookie? Is it a chocolate? Is it a chocolate made of broken cookies? Are the broken cookies whipped into a delicious patty? Is that patty covered in more delicious chocolate? Will this break your heart? Will you love it as much as we do? No. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Maybe. We hope so.  One chocolate covered cookies & cream patty with 10mg THC.

No Future Peppermint Fatty is the absolute coolest. Each time we pour the rich chocolate coating over every creamy sweet patty of peppermint, we can almost feel global warming reversing. Almost.

Do you know what the world needs more of? Cheese and cracker sandwiches with THC in them. We felt really strongly about that, so we made these. There are 2 sammies per pack, with 5mg THC each, so you can share... or not.

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